Haiti seems like just yesterday, and then again, like forever ago. My time back home since the trip has been spent reliving each day's experience through my blog postings as well as processing those experiences and how they impacted me in the moment, how they are impacting me as I relive them, and how they will impact me in the future. What WILL I do with these experiences back here at home? Let's peruse through them one last time . . .
Why did I go on this trip in the first place?
Honestly, I went because this place and these people have grabbed my child's heart so much that she has been contemplating moving there. When she decided to go back to Haiti last year this time, she couldn't find a team to meet up with and after talking with Jim, she and Cassie decided to go on their own. I must admit that I was a little concerned about that. She'd only been there once before and that was with a team that was lead by Jim, who was VERY familiar with Haiti. But he felt it would be OK and she was going to stay with Dorothy. Going with a team, and even going with a few other people and staying with an already established missionary is very different than going down there and living by yourself, though. I wanted to go and see what this place was like to see if I was totally OK with this notion or calling she was having. The plus side would be that I could have this experience WITH her, and I really was looking forward to that.
What did I expect on this trip?
I expected to be nervous in a strange place and culture. I was - at times. I expected to have some fun. I did. I expected to grow closer to my teammates. I did. I expected to fall in love with Dorothy and her kids because I felt like I already knew them. I did. I expected to see poverty. I did.
What I did NOT expect on this trip.
I did NOT expect to feel the bond - as if there had been a long time friendship - with Jim, Debbie, and Donna.
I did NOT expect the warmness of the Haitian people - we were greeted with smiles and genuine kindness by everyone we passed or came in contact with.
I did NOT expect the depth of the poverty we saw in the ravine. I'd seen pictures and knew it was bad, but until you walk through it and see it in front of you and touch it and smell it, it's not real. In my head I knew people lived like this but it is VERY different to walk through it.
I did NOT expect to be touched like I was with the stories of people I don't even know; i.e. the women in Pastor Ceynor's church who are slaves to prostitution just to feed their families.
I did NOT expect to be touched like I was when meeting Elizabeth, although I knew her story.
I did NOT expect the level of emotion when coming to grips with the fact that God is truly calling my daughter to Haiti.
Most of all, I did NOT expect to fall in love with Haiti myself and to feel like it is an extension of home.
So, what WILL I do with these experiences back here at home?
1. I am committed to doing whatever I need to do to assist Allyson in preparing to move to Haiti. The steps have begun, and we are very excited to see how God is going to unfold all of this.
2. We have been through a financial battle since 2008, and while things are so much better, we are not where we need to be. But, after experiencing the poverty I saw in Haiti, it jolted me to truly understand how monetarily rich I am. God has been so good to us, and even in our "difficulties" we are so blessed beyond measure. I am committing to be a better steward of the money and possessions God has blessed us with.
3. How do you help a nation like Haiti? I learned one person cannot do it all, but one person can do one thing. And one person can help one other person. And one person can just love each person they come in contact with. I need to do this better here in Durham. I am not an outgoing person. I am really very shy. My husband, on the other hand, can walk into a room of strangers and know all about them by the time he leaves. He can strike up a conversation with anyone! I can't - no - I could, but I don't do that here in a country that is home and where I understand things because it is WAY out of my comfort zone. How in the world did I expect myself to do that in a country that was unfamiliar to me in ALL ways. I didn't really. So, I am going to work on being more engaging with those around me. I need to work on being intentional with other people. If I can do that better here at home, I will be able to do it in Haiti.
4. I will go back to Haiti - numerous times, I'm sure. I really look forward to going and helping Allyson in her work in the future. God confirmed for me that He has truly called Allyson to Haiti, and He gave me the peace I needed. He also gave me a level of excitement about it all. Now I need an outpouring of patience as He works it all out. We have more answers than we had before, but still more questions than answers about how this will all take shape. Even so, I am filled with anticipation as this journey is unfolding.
Thank you all for your support that allowed me to go on this trip. It has forever changed me.
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