The Sweet Coconut

Well, for any of you who know me and my family, you know that "the sweet Coconut" is our dog. And you have to know and understand our "high-pitched dog talk" to get the full understanding out of this blog post!

Well, hims is the sweetest puppy dog alive! We all love him very much - especially Randy! Oh yes!!! (dream music) . . .



In 2006 Allyson wanted a dog for Christmas. I had put my foot down and said no way and gave her a loooooooooooong list of reasons why we were not getting a dog: didn't want the responsibility of a big dag again (we used to have a golden retriever); was NOT going to have a dog live in the house because of shedding mainly; and IF we had a dog in the house, we'd have to train him well; I didn't want a dog that would nip and scare small children; . . . you get the picture. Well, Allyson did her research. Everyday when I came home from work, she would have a different picture of a different puppy as my computer background (hint hint)!!! Ingenious, I must admit! Some of them were quite expensive - and that was a GREAT BIG NO! Well, she eventually found the Maltese: good with small children, do not shed, train well, etc, etc. She marked off every single reason from the list. Even the money one because she found this litter of puppies in Greensboro that were Maltese/Pomeranian mix and were only $300 - - which is pretty normal I found out. I kept telling her no, but I secretly emailed the woman. Randy and I went to Greensboro on Friday night when Allyson was spending the night with a friend (I think) to take a look at these puppies. Awwww - they were so cute!! All but 2 were solid white. One female and one male had some tan markings. The female was promised, but I really like the male with the tan markings. He kept playing with me after the others lost interest, and I liked the fact that he was not solid white - gave him some character!!! So, we put a deposit on him. Randy had taken the video camera that night and had videoed the whole litter, but also got video of just this one puppy. We made a DVD to give her on Christmas morning and told her that on our way back home from Ronda the day after Christmas, we would stop in Greensboro to pick him up. Excited was not the word!!!





She took very good care of him, and we took him to puppy training at PetSmart - it's really owner training :o). The hardest thing was getting that puppy house trained! Ugh! (I should have added that to my list of reasons not to have a dog in the house!) But I digress. . . He was so sweet. Fast forward . . .

Allyson left to go to college :o( and Coconut became our dog. Then in 2008 Randy was laid off and being at home all day . . . well, he and Coconut have bonded, shall we say, and become BEST BUDS! That dog has separation anxiety when Randy leaves - it's pitiful!! But hims is still the sweetest dog I've ever known!!! And he still gets excited when Allyson comes home!!

We bathe him probably more than we should, but I don't want my house smelling like dog. He doesn't really stink - even when he stinks - if that makes sense. Anyway, tonight was bath night because we're going to Grandma's tomorrow! Usually he runs and hides if you ask him if hims wants a bath, but tonight I began running the water (now, granted, he was in the bathroom with me with the door shut, so he couldn't go far) but when I asked him if hims wanted to take a bath, hims jumped right into the bathtub!!! I couldn't believe it!!! Ha! I knew he secretly liked the bath!!! :o) He has always liked the massage part of the bath (a dog after my own heart!!). So, hims is all pretty and smells good again - - like a fru-fru dog - ha! Yes, hims is a priss! But we love hims!!!

Butterflies - Part 2

I had no idea how much those yellow butterflies would end up meaning to me.

They were still around on Sunday. Sunday was a very emotionally exhausting day for me. We got to the Hospice Center and Daddy's nurse, Janice, told me he was different today. She had not really be able to arouse him. He "awoke" and wanted the blanket off of him, so I took that off and he kept pulling at the remaining covers. I removed the other blanket, then the sheet, then he began pulling the pillows out from under his arms and legs and trying to fling them away. He wanted everything off. He began pulling at this clothing and I finally convinced him to leave his clothes on. He settled back down and went back to sleep. Missy and I sat and watched him for a few hours, then Wendy, John, and Adam arrived. She tried to wake him to tell him they were there. She asked if he knew who she was, and he said, "Yes, Wendy." But then he was back out again. We basically just sat with him the entire day, although at one point, Wendy told him again that John and Adam were there. He said "Hello, Adam." So he knew we were there and he knew who we were.

Later in the afternoon, he became restless, and almost agitated. He began jumping "awake" - although he wasn't really awake - like something had startled him. At one point he also shouted "Catch me! Catch me!" We held his hands and reassured him we had him and that he was ok. He settled back down. Janice decided to give him something to help calm him. We held his hands for over an hour until we were sure he was calm. We again, just sat with him. Wendy, John, and Adam left about 5 to go home.

Missy and I stayed until about 10. Around 8:30 he began to start with the restlessness again. His night nurse, Bruna, gave him some more meds and we sat with him until we felt sure he was calm again. As I said, around 10 we left to go back tot he hotel. He was resting comfortably and his breathing was normal. Bruna promised to call us if there was any change.

At 7am Bruna called. Daddy had passed away. She said she'd gone into his room between 6 - 6:30 to turn him, fluff his covers, etc. and he was breathing normally, as he had been all night. About 30 minutes later when the aide went in to take vitals, he was gone.

I think Janice knew she wouldn't see him again before she got back on the schedule to work, but I don't think any of us believed he would be gone before Missy and I got back the next day. I'm so thankful he passed away peacefully.

The yellow butterflies were there again Monday, and Tuesday. Now, I'm sure these little yellow butterflies are there this time of year every year, but it was as if they were there to escort Daddy home, and to be a tangible reminder of the Lord's presence with us all.

I will always think of that special time of being with Daddy in his last hours whenever I see a yellow butterfly.

Butterflies

I'm in Wilmington visiting my Dad, and when I walked out of the hotel this morning to go over to the Hospice Center, I was greeted by these beautiful yellow butterflies - they were everywhere!! It was as if they were accompanying me to my car. I got to the Hospice Center and when I got out of the car there, there were even more and more - they were everywhere! The weather was beautiful this morning, and I don't know where these gorgeous butterflies came from or what made them all come out today, but I have watched them all day long out Daddy's window. I even took a stroll outside this afternoon in a memorial garden and was accompanied by them there.

You know the metamorphosis a butterfly goes through is a beautiful story of change. I sat and watched these beautiful creatures all day and was reminded of the change my heart and life went through when I came to know the Lord. He took this worm of a person and has transformed me into a beautiful creature. You see, I know I'm beautiful because He has told me I am. And today, these beautiful yellow butterflies have been a constant reminder everywhere I looked that He has always been in control and will always be in control. It was an extension of our short quiet time together this morning when He reminded me that I am safe in Him. His promise that no matter where I am, I can sense His nearness. I SAW His nearness in those butterflies today. He told me when I commune with Him in the garden of my heart that He and I are both blessed!

We have both been truly blessed today! Thank you, Lord, for the beautiful yellow butterflies and the reminder of your love and ever nearness to me.

Daddy

Daddy is dying. We all are to some extent, but over a year ago, Daddy was diagnosed with lung cancer. He has fought with everything he has and over a year later is still with us; however, it is very obvious it is nearing the end. Exactly how close is anyone's guess, but 2 weeks ago he was brought to the Lower Cape Fear Hospice Center, and ever since then I've thought about this particular blog post and what I wanted to say. As I sit in his room watching him sleep, I am still not sure exactly what I want to say about the man who is my Daddy.

Vernon Allen Thomas is his name. He was born and raised in Roxboro, NC. My sister Missy and I learned - during a wonderful time with Daddy his 3rd night here - a lot that explained things we didn't understand through the years. Daddy's parents owned a grocery store and worked all the time. He had no oversight or much guidance in his growing up years. He bluffed his way through school and today considers himself illiterate. We were shocked - had no idea. He said because he couldn't read, he couldn't write and that's why he never wrote letters to us. He also said he thought that was why he had trouble verbalizing things he wanted to say. Since he struggled with how to express himself, he just didn't. We, unfortunately, took that to mean he didn't care - which is so far from the truth it pains me now. Because of this and then just getting bogged down with life, we let so many years slip away just from pure misunderstanding. His three girls are now trying to spend as much time with him as possible. A little late, but I hope appreciated. I know he loves us, and we love him.

The big struggle through this is that his wife is so very angry. We are not sure what that anger is rooted in, but she's angry with us, with the Hospice staff, with Daddy, and maybe even herself, I don't know. I really struggle here because we don't know how to help her. I can only pray for her and let the professionals that deal with this type of thing do what they do best and hope that some of that will help.

Back to Daddy . . . he was a good provider for us. We never lacked for anything. He said he regretted not being around more for us. Maybe he wasn't there as much as he should have been, but I do remember him helping coach my softball team one year. Our coach was going to be late for a game and Daddy warmed up the team. He actually HIT balls into the outfield - our coach always threw them out there. Those things came at me like bullets! Ha! I remember in the dugout he said "All right girls, 3 up and 3 down!" I'd never heard that before and thought that meant to run real fast!!! Ha!! Ha!! I do know what it means now!

I also remember him taking me (when I was in the 7th grade) to see Donny Osmond and The Osmond Brothers in concert at the Dorton Arena in Raleigh! Oh - what a great night! I did not realize what a sacrifice that was until years later when my 2 girls wanted to go see NSync in concert. I wanted to shoot myself sitting among all those screaming pre-teens. Aauugghh!! I called Daddy the next day to thank him for taking me to see the Osmonds all those years ago. I'm sure he must have been in much more agony than I had been with my girls! He just laughed and said he wouldn't have missed doing it! :o)

I remember how he could never pronounce my oldest daughter's name - Erin. He always said it like "urn". She couldn't understand as a child why he couldn't pronounce her name! Ha! I cherish the pictures of the summer we came to the beach to visit and he took the girls fishing! It brought back my own memory of fishing with him off the pier at Holden Beach when I was 6 or 7 and I caught a spot. "I catched me a fish!!" I thought I had a huge fish!! I wanted Mama to cook it! When she wouldn't I had to save it and take it to Red Springs to show Graham King, a friend of the family. As soon as Graham saw it Mama made me throw it away - - can't understand why!! Ha!

Daddy was never a church goer, but I remember him showing up to church whenever Mama sang a solo. I sing too. Mama said I should bring something of me singing for him to hear because it's probably been awhile since he's heard me sing. I got to thinking about it. I'm not sure he's ever heard me sing. I brought some stuff this weekend with me. I hope he'll be awake and alert enough at some point during the weekend that I can share it with him.

When Randy, my husband, first came home with me, Daddy showed him the freezer where his frosted mugs for beer were. He told Randy he was welcome to anything in the house, but to leave those alone!! Those 2 had a common bond in loving to play golf. When Randy came to visit me on the weekends, Daddy always took him off on Saturday to play golf. Well, that was 1/2 my weekend, so I'd go with them! I walked many a course with those 2!!

I find myself thinking about life in general during these days. Life, how we live it - death, how we face it. I am so very thankful that I have a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ! It has proven to be so true that He will comfort you, carry you, give you peace, fill you with a calm, that only He can do and only knowing Him can explain it. I'm OK with Daddy's pending death, because I have a hope in Jesus. I know that the Lord is with Daddy and helping him through this transition. I feel that Daddy has a peace about dying. He has shared that he has made his peace with God. I wondered exactly what that meant, because I have not seen the type of fruit in his life that you might expect when one comes to the Lord. I had a friend share with me a similar concern regarding her father. A pastor told her not to get hung up on what you think that might should look like. Be comforted in the fact that he shared he is at peace. I took that as a confirmation to do just that.

Daddy - - a little girls prince and hero - - a big girl's comfort - -

I love you Daddy! I'll miss you when you are gone!