So, my oldest got married on July 30, 2011. What does that feel like, you ask? An emotional roller coaster is what that feels like! But then, roller coasters are great fun!!
So, I embark on a new chapter in my life. I was reading a friend's blog about a transition of chapters in her life, and was so glad to see my feelings put down into her words - ha! She verbalized a lot of what I was feeling but didn't know how to articulate. You are so excited about this new chapter of beginnings, yet you are literally mourning the "death", if you will, of the past chapters ending. You long at times for things to remain as they were, yet you know that the things to come are wonderful and exciting. A roller coaster of emotions.
The wedding day: I was so worried about being a blubbering idiot. I wasn't. But . . . only because I had too much going on that day to really sit and contemplate what was taking place. Good thing or bad thing? I don't know. My morning was spent getting the last minute things done for the reception. It took longer than I had planned, so I ended up rushing getting ready to get to the church. That was probably a good thing, because if I'd had all the time I'd planned, my hair probably wouldn't have done right, etc. As it turned out, the hair did fine. I got there and went straight back to where Erin was getting ready. She'd gone that morning to get her hair done. Her veil was already on and she was putting on her makeup. She already looked stunningly gorgeous! (I know she's mine, but she was stunning!)
At that point I really had nothing else to do but watch her and wait until the wedding hour. I had moments of tearing up, but would make myself busy so as not to lose it. :o) All of a sudden the time had come. Randy and I walked down the aisle and lit Erin's candle, then I sat. So far so good. Then the bridal party began making it's way - - once the bridesmaids started coming down, I thought, uh oh - this is it, I'm going to lose it. I had to work really hard not to. Allyson almost did too, so I couldn't look at her for support. :o) Then the bride. I thought, "I'll watch Stephen", he was smiling, but I think he was fighting it as well and I decided that watching him was not such a good idea after all, so I turned to watch my first born be walked down the aisle on her daddy's arm (I'm tearing up now worse than I did then! geez) I was so proud!! The ceremony was beautiful! It didn't last long, and all of a sudden, they were pronounced man and wife. Wow. I really have a child who is a married woman now! Surreal. The rest of the evening flew by! The reception was hot, but we had a blast!! I think everyone had a good time, in spite of the heat (104 degrees that day!) Now it almost seems like a blur!
I am still wrestling with my transition of chapters. I miss her not being in my house. As a matter of fact, I am sitting in her bedroom as I type this (which is becoming a joint office/guest bedroom). I am trying to not be the mother who can't let go, so I haven't called much, but I so miss talking with her. I'm waiting about a month, then I'll call more. :o) This transition of chapters is going to be a long roller coaster ride, I believe, because while I'm trying to navigate the transition of one being married, the youngest one is now back at college in her senior year, and I am missing her terribly too. This may be the beginning of yet another chapter transition, and I'm not sure I can handle 2 chapter transitions at the same time.
Wait - - did I say roller coasters were fun? WHAT was I thinking? :o)
